July 3, 2026

I went to bed at 2am and set an alarm for 5:15am. I panic-reserved an albergue the night before, because I was so gravely unsure of my pace and stamina. This gave me a sense of peace, to know I had a bed. I would later learn this is not an issue as the heatwave has created a sort of lull on the Camino and there are currently more than enough beds. I digress.

I snoozed my alarm until 5:35am, force-ate my breakfast (yoghurt, walnuts and protein bar). Then was out the door and walking by 6:30am. The sun had already started to rise but it was so windy and cool, I was wearing all my warm layers – merino long sleeve, light fleece sweater and a light windbreaker. I was nervous for the heatwave, but this was a treat.

I almost instantly went into flow state, taking my time to read the signs, took some breaks to do my duolingo, and didn’t see many pilgrims until at least 10k in. I must have caught up with the morning rush.

My feet were a little stiff this morning, but warmed up by the afternoon. Backpack is the perfect weight, and my new walking poles are light and comfortable. It felt as if I was fast-forwarding through the physical part of Camino.

I stopped at a cafe in Tardajos and saw a bunch of new pilgrims. This eased me. We walked together and shared memories and info about the Camino so far – who was on the Camino, the weather, the nationalities, etc. So far I have met pilgrim from the US, Japan, Korea, Slovenia, France and Spain.

The rest of the afternoon was blissful walking in the start of the Meseta – the desert.

I love these vast open spaces. I couldn’t stop admiring the beauty. It felt like a dream.

A brave Slovenian woman accompanied me for the last 5k. She said “Paulo Coelo wrote his book The Alchemist after walking the Camino. He was inspired by the idea while walking the Meseta. In fact, many of the landscapes in the book are inspired by the flat Meseta. He came back home and wrote the book it in 14 days.”

This was so plainly a sign. I didn’t tell her my Camino intentions yet, but this was a nudge in the right direction. We also talked about death and signs. I love how hard topics are honoured on the Camino.

I arrived in my albergue with my new friends and shared a beer. This felt like Camino. But then they all decided to walk 2km further and I decided to stay in this oasis.

I took a shower, hand washed my clothes, and the spiraled trying to journal.

The weather was incredibly windy and there was nowhere to hide. Inside the AC was on and I just felt chilled to the bone. I put on more layers and escaped into my thinking mind. I was questioning all my camino choices – naturally.

Why didn’t I go with my friends?

Why did I feel so alone?

Why was I spiraling?

It was time for dinner. I was depleted of all energy but didn’t prioritize taking a nap. So at the dinner table, I was lifeless. But I was forced to make conversation with an old Spanish man because nobody else knew Spanish. We spoke a mix of French and Spanish and I was quite proud of myself for this, despite having zero interest in the conversation (he was mansplaning every topic to me and I just wanted to leave the table, but I was trapped with food).

After dinner was over, I swaddled myself in the hammock.

I started journaling to try to make sense of the feelings. But I just felt more cold and more broken. What was camino trying to teach me?

There as a soft-spoken Hungarian man. I leaned on him for comfort. When I spiral, it helps to talk to others. So I told him about my journaling process and camino diary blog. He recited a poem he wrote about the elements and tarot and love. I began to untangle my worries.

We talked about meditation. And the power of now. And how clearly I was in my thinking mind, and not being present.

I was trying to analyze my narrative – regurgitate the narrative – instead of writing about now. I am pulled to story-tell and recount the day, illustrate the narrative. But I don’t want to do that. I want to observe and integrate. Feel inspired. I want to notice signs and be more present.

Honestly, I felt lonely and tired. I missed connection.

This man showed me that when we are trying to analyze and make sense of things, we remove ourselves further from the present.

We finished off the conversation by asking me, “When you write, what do you want to teach?”

I made the executive decision to stop writing today and go to sleep.

xoxo surrenderness 🌻